A good friend of mine was driving down the road last week when black smoke began to pour out of his tailpipe, a good indication that all was not well under the hood. His truck sputtered as far as the nearest mechanic, where it died.

How do you think the mechanic diagnosed the problem? I doubt he replaced the exhaust pipe. I’m sure he looked under the truck’s hood. Even I, as one whose mechanical knowledge is severely limited, know that the exhaust pipe coughing black smoke was merely the harbinger of bad news, not the problem’s cause.

I raise this illustration to highlight important considerations for human relationships—particularly when we are committed to helping improve the health of another. We often only recognize and therefore occupy ourselves with symptoms of problems. The symptoms, like the black plume trailing behind my friend’s truck, can be a smoke screen, blocking our view from the core problem.

Our federal government embodies this phenomenon when it channels millions of tax payer dollars into numerous funding streams with the aim to deter particular behaviors: alcohol prevention, drug prevention, obesity prevention and so on. Programs that target behaviors are, by definition, addressing a particular symptom. This does not mean, of course, such programs are indifferent to the causes of such behaviors. And I am not advocating that we only treat the cause and ignore symptoms, many of which are quite harmful. But what’s critical is that the people, programs, and organizations honing in on these behaviors are mindful of the common sources from which these behaviors spring.

We can describe the source in a number of ways: lack of self-worth, negligible future orientation, and the like. Treating the root causes of destructive behavior, which reside at the core of our being, require a deeper human-to-human connection in which trust is the bonding agent. I hope to refresh your resolve and remind you that who you are as a unique person, not the program or protocol you implement, is the most potent element of your work.

Process is to learning what digestion is to eating. Content that people make their own is content that can change their lives. To make our work as meaningful as possible we have to allow time for others to process what we’re discussing. This is exactly like the digestion process by which our bodies break down food and make it something we can use.

I played soccer throughout high school and college. During each high school season we’d gather at a teammate’s house the night before the game. The menu was always the same: spaghetti. In addition to building camaraderie, the high carbohydrate fare helped fuel us up to play the next day. Our bodies required approximately 24 hours to digest the pasta and extract the necessary nutrients.

Imagine playing a soccer game immediately after eating three helpings of spaghetti. Not a pretty thought. (Viewers of The Office should have no problem conjuring an image here.) But sadly this is what many educational approaches amount to–a spaghetti feed/soccer game.

Without process we can’t assume any material we present will be relevant to our listeners. The goal of the process phase is to help others take ownership of the content we present. They do so by strengthening their relationship to the content. Through process we can afford participants the opportunity to more deeply understand and internalize the risks of alcohol, for example, resulting in their truly owning their convictions surrounding alcohol use. This ownership can lead to changed action.

Underlying process is the opportunity for abstract, intangible ideas (think “Just say no”) to be more concrete. As ideas become more concrete they become more real. Then they have power to alter our perception.

It’s great to be working with you to promote meaningful, lasting change.

Send an email to andrewfrobinson@aweber.com to subscribe to future newsletters.

I chose to call my organization People Change People because I want to furnish a reminder, to myself and everyone who wishes to make a positive difference in the lives of others, that we are the most powerful agents of change—for better or worse—in the lives of those around us. How I relate to others and the choices I make have been most influenced by the people in my life who have cared about me. I would like to do the same for others.

There is a tendency within all of us to substitute people for something else. In the education field “curricula change people.” In prevention fields “good information changes people.” In counseling “techniques change people.”

There is no substitute for people. In your efforts to bring health and well-being to the lives of others the element with the greatest brawn is you. Curricula can be helpful. Certain techniques can enhance your efforts. But there is no substitute for you. Thus, when we consider how we might bear upon the life of another in the wisest, most valuable and long-lasting way, we must recall this axiom, People Change People.

In my web presence I strive to draw attention to this reality. I want to welcome you to explore all of the resources here. My goal is to furnish thoughtful, insightful content you can practice. Please feel free to contact me with your feedback, questions, and ideas.

I’m thrilled to begin this journey. Thanks for joining in.