Paths form where we walk. As depicted in this photo by Dutch photographer Jan-Dirk van der Burg, repeated travel over a piece of ground creates a path.

Our brain follows this rule as well. A substance produced in our brain called, myelin, is the brain’s version of packed earth. How does this happen? Neural sequences that fire together wire together. In other words, actions—what we do—form these myelin paths.

Knowing a little more about myelin can shape how you cultivate engagement and empathy, especially with youth:

1. Like a trail in our brain, myelin creates highly efficient pathways by coating neural sequences that we use. This process is called myelination.

2. The speed increase in signal transmission between neurons that result through myelination are like the difference between walking and traveling by jet.

3. Myelin allows our brains to regulate itself the same way we regulate speed in traffic by feathering the gas and break pedals to avoid getting into an accident.

4. Myelin is essential for inhibition: the ability to avoid or stop behaviors with negative consequences.

5. Lower rates of myelination in youth, especially males, helps explain the lack of inhibition that characterizes adolescence.

6. Overuse of alcohol and other drugs inhibits, and in some cases stalls, myelin production. Such substances are the equivalent of fencing off the path in the photo above. Eventually the path vanishes into its surrounding environment.

7. The adolescent brain is hyper-vulnerable to the use of drugs, including alcohol. During these years the brain is actively producing myelin that will expand the function and efficiency of the brain. Alcohol and other substances inhibit this process in adolescence than later in life.

A highly-accessible book on this topic is, The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle. For a deeper dive, read this article about the relationship between myelination, alcohol use, and addictions. It’s fairly complex, but the research findings are truly stunning.

Research on myelin is a burgeoning new frontier, offering incredible insights about human behavior and relationships. I’m eager to see what new findings appear in the next few years.

Next week I’m releasing an e-book called Own It . The goal of Own It is to help you cultivate the sort of engagement that enables others to own your message for themselves. Here’s an excerpt:

You own your own message. It’s personal to you, but how personal is it to the people you serve? Your message is most effective when you transfer ownership. Your message then becomes their message.

Own It features new exercises and strategies you can use to help others engage with and acquire your message. I hope it will encourage and challenge you professionally and personally.

Send an email to others who may like to receive Own It. They can sign up here on the site in the right column.

We have a message. We know this message can change lives. But how can this message be as engaging as possible?

Here’s the problem: when we know a lot about something we tend to share too much. The result is that the people who could benefit most from the message disengage from it, or don’t engage deeply enough for the message to shape their behavior.

With this conundrum in mind, I designed and implemented with a group of teens an unconventional approach to engagement. I imposed the following limits on myself:

1. My notes had to fit on one side of a single sheet of paper.
2. I could only make two points during the hour and ten minute class period. The rest of the content had to come from the teens.
3. I couldn’t use any other resources (slides, books, etc.).

This is good time to emphasize just how frightening it can be to challenge the far reaches of our comfort zone. I knew that what transpired would be either dynamic or awkward and clunky. I had no idea which. What happened surprised everyone in the room. Especially me.

I filmed the demonstration and will post the footage in short segments throughout the summer. For now, I wanted to share the development process so that you can experiment and interact with it.

So here is what I did:

Step 1: Answer the following question with a single statement:

Question: What do I want to do?

At the top of the paper I put a summary statement: “Demonstrate tools of engagement.”

Step 2: Answer the question:

How am I going to accomplish step 1?

I wrote down all of the skills and practices that make up this engagement model which I had been collecting on 3” x 5” cards: Use of divergent questions, reflective listening, synthesis, curiosity, etc. These I wrote down on mini-sticky notes.

Step 3: In what sequence will I do these things?

I arranged the sticky notes in a progression that I thought would flow best.

Step 4: I transcribed the sequence into my single sheet of paper with one column for each of the two days I would be there.

With my single sheet in hand I was ready to put my engagement model to the test. What would you put on your single sheet of paper?

A reporter from the local paper observed the presentation. Click here to read the article.

What makes for good poetry makes for good education.

Consider the following similarities:

1. Excellent poetry motivates the reader to want to know more.

2. The poet engages his or her reader by doing less.

3. Poems leave large margins of space.

4. Poetry confuses the reader at first, encouraging him or her to pursue a deeper understanding.

5. I have to work to understand the true meaning of a poem.

6. Only the poet’s essential message makes it to paper—no extraneous details!

7. When I finally arrive at an understanding of the poem, my understanding is personal, meaningful, and has the power to change how I see things.

The University of Oregon’s Substance Abuse Prevention Program sponsored the production of this video on making prevention education—all education, for that matter—personal.  These videos walk you through each of the three phases of the personalized prevention process: Crystallize, Personalize, and Relationalize (C.P.R.).

For learning to be powerful and life-changing it must be personal. These videos walk you through three ingredients that must be in place to move educational approaches from abstract and impersonal to concrete, personal, and life-changing.

I want to thank the University of Oregon’s Substance Abuse Prevention Program for this opportunity. Bryan and Sabine, thank you for your help planning, filming, and formatting the footage.

Part 1: Introduction to Personalized Prevention Education

Part 2: C.P.R. A Meta-Curriculum for Personalized Prevention Education

Part 3: Crystallize Your Message

Part 4: Personalize Your Methods

Part 5: Relationalize Your Approach

Part 6: Get Away from Group-think

Author of The Teen Age: 40 Reflections on Relating With Teens, Andrew F. Robinson, M.Ed is the founder of People Change People and creator of Epic Training. He provides coalitions and organizations with breakaway, uncommonly powerful approaches to working with teens. We had the privilege of interviewing Andrew to get his insights on reaching teens.

EBB: What needs to change in environments where adults work with teens (schools, programs) to make relationships stronger and healthier?

AFR: Few things are nearer to my heart than this question and few things grieve me more than what I see happening under the auspices of education. If, like Rip Van Winkle, I could fall asleep for twenty years, here’s what I would long to see when I awoke:

1. Schools employing interactive, relationship-based approaches that engage and captivate teens at a personal level.

2. Teachers who fuel the learning process by enflaming a student’s natural curiosity.

3. Learning environments that have shed teach-to-the-test tactics in favor of unbounded creativity, divergent thinking, and regard for human ingenuity.

If our country is serious about transforming education, these three ingredients must be at the heart of the transformation process.

EBB: Given all the risks and dangers presented to teens, what can educators and parents do to help teens make better choices?

AFR: Commit to finding points of entry into the relationship. This takes determination on the part of the adult. Study teens and you’ll discover these entry points. But you have to be intently focused and committed, like when you lock yourself out of your house. You check every door and window to see if one is unlocked. The same is true with teens.

I introduce groups to the following three phases to help them strengthen their positive influence in the life of teens—C.P.R.

1. Crystallize your message— Sharpen your focus to the essentials

2. Personalize your methods— Increase relevance and meaning for teens as they take ownership

3. Relationalize your approach and build trust with students— Teens will connect with your message as they connect with the messenger.

EBB: What do educators and parents need to know about the adolescent brain?

AFR: Can you imagine hosting Thanksgiving while remodeling your kitchen? You could get the job done, but it wouldn’t be pretty. A similar remodeling process is underway between the ears of every 12-25 year-old. Functions like logical, forward thinking and impulse control don’t perform as well as they will in adulthood. I devote several sections of my book to this remodeling process and what we can do about it.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Interview with the author of The Teen Age: 40 Reflections on Relating With Teens – Los Angeles Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-los-angeles/relating-with-teens-interview-with-the-author-of-the-teen-age-40-reflections-o#ixzz1ES7JQOHz

I was halfway through the class period when it happened. It was my fifth and last day with upperclassmen at a local high school. We were discussing sexual decisions, in particular the pros and cons of having sex at an early age versus the pros and cons of waiting.

The door opened and a girl entered who had not been present for any of the other four days. By looking at her I wondered if she was a proponent for some kind of minimalist clothing movement, for the distance from the hem of her skirt to the top of her tube-top couldn’t have been much more than 12 inches. She strutted passed me and sat at her desk.

A few moments later I posed to the class the question, “What are some reasons teens choose to have sex?” Without hesitation, though she hadn’t been present for any of the other discussions, the aforementioned girl raised her hand.

“Because it’s natural,” she said. Her tone was unmistakable. She wanted to skirmish. I recognized this and responded with a good deal of enthusiasm, “You’re absolutely right! Sex is as natural as breathing.” I went on to amplify the truth embedded in her statement: sex is natural. She wasn’t expecting this. She expected a fight. I think part of her hoped I would launch into a monologue about the risks of sex at an early age. Stunned, she sat quietly.

After this we discussed other reasons teens choose to have sex. We then explored the potential drawbacks to this decision. I just asked questions and facilitated discussion among the students.

Then I switched gears. “We’ve discussed the reasons why some teens have sex, and some of the potential drawbacks to that decision. But why would someone choose to wait for sex?”

The same girl raised her hand. I would be lying if I said I didn’t fasten a mental seat belt before calling on her.

In place of the venom that laced her previous statement there was stone-cold sobriety. “I think I would have more respect for myself,” she said. That was it. The room was quiet. I was stunned. I think a good number of her classmates were, as well.

I may never know whether this interaction created any lasting positive change in the life of this teen. But by honoring her statement, oppositional though it was, we didn’t get bogged down in resistance. This freed her to consider alternatives to her position. Had I increased the resistance she would have been stuck.

I’ve heard stories about hunters who discover the carcasses of two deer, their antlers locked together. Unable to separate themselves, the creatures eventually died a tragic, prolonged death. You and I do well not to lock horns with teens. Teens, like the girl in the class, will square up to us and invite us to resist them. Doing so would have devastating implications for our ability to create change.

Teens need to process their ideas. They need us to listen without reacting. Whenever possible, find the truth in a teen’s statement that you can support. You don’t have to agree with him or her in entirety. But by doing so in part you keep alive the conversation and make possible a deeper connection. What can happen in time is that we earn the right to share our valuable thoughts and opinions–and teens just might listen to what we say.

In what sense should we be like the youth we care about? We wrongly assume that to be relevant to teens we need to be like them. Such an inclination to mimic youth is born of fear. If we’re like them, so we believe, they will like us. Unchecked, our insecurities lead us to talk, dress, and act like adolescents. I’ve been to youth camps and events where I had to strain to distinguish between the teens and the adults.

Being like the youth we serve cannot be our priority, not if we want to make a significant impact. Teens need and want us to be adults. They have lots of buddies. They want us to relate with them in a way that’s in keeping with our authentic humanhood. When we seek to be buddies with teens, they lose the best thing we have to offer: our selves.

We are a medium for youth, a living message. This message will translate to teens when we model for them what it looks like to be a responsible, compassionate, kind adult. If we fall victim to our insecurities and seek to prioritize being hip over being heroic, teens lose.

I knew a family that spoke to their children in “baby talk” to the exclusion of normal diction. Not surprising, each of their children had difficulty speaking in their early years. One could hardly understand them. They had only known baby talk and hadn’t learned to speak with clarity. Teens gain clarity about life best by being around caring adults who behave as adults.

To connect with youth in a meaningful way be yourself. Dress, talk, and act the way you normally do. This is an attractive quality to teens. Come to think of it, this kind of authenticity is attractive to everyone.

Clear Transitions

In the spirit of the new year I will begin down a fresh path with my newsletters starting in January. I hope you enjoy this last newsletter of 2009 capping off the “Five Elements of Effective Structure” series.

To illustrate this final element of effective structure, Transition, let’s build on the example I introduced in the last newsletter: Imagine you are working with a group of youth to encourage them to avoid using tobacco. You’ve discussed with them the role of various media (TV, Internet, movies, etc.) which may employ subtle and not-so-subtle methods to encourage youth to smoke. After giving a brief, clear introduction, you facilitated discussion and dialogue during the process phase, synthesized the student comments, and helped them develop actions they can take based on the discussion. With your help, the youth arrived at some brilliant ideas and developed specific strategies–ones they now “own” in a way they didn’t when they entered the room. You’re sending them back into the world with a newfound sense of responsibility and clarity. Excellent!

The next topic you want to discuss is the role of peer pressure (again, insert your own topic), and how it relates to tobacco use. Here’s where we can stumble. Not infrequently I witness presenters that begin a new topic without connecting it to the previous topic. The topics remain isolated. By breaking these topics out of isolation we encourage students to strengthen relationships between the topics. As you draw the conversation about media to a close and prepare to move into your introduction on peer pressure, pose a simple question to strengthen the relationship between media and peer pressures: “Before we move on to discuss peer pressures, I’m curious, how would you say media influences and peer pressure are related?” I like using the second person in this kind of a question. It is a reminder that your audience members, not you, are responsible for their own learning process. Then, allow for silence. Brains are working.

Our brains crave coherence. Brain research indicates that our brains are wired to preserve what is coherent and purge dissonance. We want to know how things relate. This is how we learn. The transition phase is when you offer your audience opportunity to create meaningful connections between two separate topics. When we can strengthen the relationship between two or more distinct topics, we strengthen the learning process. This is the point of Transition–to connect the topic you’re leaving to the topic you’re entering. There’s a reciprocal, chicken and egg relationship here: Whichever comes second we will best understand by connecting it with what came first. Switching topics without a good transition is sure to create “topical whiplash.”

I’ve designed this five-part presentation progression to maximize the engagement of the learner. My desired outcome by practicing these elements is that our presentations will be more engaging, lucid, and effectual. Please don’t feel you need to adhere to every jot and tittle of this structure. Make it your own. Adapt it to serve your needs. Remember, the agent of change is you.