During my junior year in college I took a course in Evolutionary Biology. We all feared the professor. He was, as every student well knew, not one to mess with. During one of his lectures he suddenly threw down his chalk, slammed his hands on the lectern and began to yell at our class, saying he was through with all of the challenging questions he received. I remember being stunned and confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. He stormed out of the class. We all sat for a moment, stunned, as though he had just spoken in tongues. The next day the professor walked into class, slapped a stack of midterm exams on the table and announced, “I am not available for questions.” I’m pretty sure this violated some sort of university ethical code, but none of us were about to cite scripture and verse. The day after the exam the university dean came in to “get to the bottom of all of this.” Without exception, we all said we had no idea what so enraged the professor. He left the college shortly after.

I’ve reflected on this scene many times since. The students in our class sought to understand key concepts. I recall one of my classmates asking, “Can you explain again how through evolution the jaw bone migrated to become an ear bone?” I remember this question because I think it may have been the match to the tinder that sent our professor into his rage. But the student’s question was sincere. Like the rest of us, he was trying to see through the professor’s lenses, and learn. Tragically, our youthful attempts to grasp the concepts our professor espoused only served to incite his wrath, and estrange him from the students he was supposed to enlighten.

My professor’s refusal to empathetically engage his students was to his loss, and ours. When we sincerely invite another to take us on a tour of his or her own perspective we create an opportunity—a safe space—for us both to listen, grow and change. And in the course of exploring our perspectives, something profound happens. Those beliefs and assumptions we’ve held tacitly emerge from obscurity, and sharpen into focus—then we can examine them anew, and broaden our own understanding.

Tags: empathic engagement